


Remember Our Amiable Hearts

by charliebradcherry



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Amnesiac Lucifer, Cage flashbacks, Caring Sam, Dean is not a big fan of keeping Lucifer in the bunker, Hurt Lucifer, Injured Lucifer, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-07
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:18:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8211544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliebradcherry/pseuds/charliebradcherry
Summary: After Chuck is reunited with Amara, the Winchesters settle back on track to pursue their old duties in saving the world until they find a very damaged archangel on the side of the road in Illinois. Much against Dean’s will, Sam thinks it’s best for Lucifer to come with and decides to take responsability over him until his injuries are fully healed.As days pass, Sam becomes aware that Lucifer just isn’t up to par lately and can’t help but wonder what’s been going on out there while he was out and lost in the wilderness. Soon enough, all of that gets cleared up after having worked on a case in Louisiana for four days when they get a call from Castiel to tell them just exactly why he’s been behaving this odd lately, and it’s up to Sam to try and fix it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Woowie, it's finally here! I hope you enjoy reading my Samifer big bang as much as I enjoyed writing it, because I had an absolute blast at participating to this event! I'm usually very slow at writing and my limit is usually 5K words, but I challenged myself this year and got to 17K which I'm very proud of! And this is also my first ever multichapter fic that is _completed_. I'm pretty happy with it.
> 
> Art of my smol celestial child below is by the incredible littlelibrarianintraining on Tumblr. <3
> 
> Also, you might find a few typos but I will immediately go and read my Big Bang a third time so I can edit it! :)

  
  
  
The Winchesters found him on the side of a road located somewhere in Illinois, clothes soiled and nasty cuts over his arms as his feet were carrying him away as far as they possibly could to somewhere. Anywhere. As Dean stopped the car and Sam rolled down the windowsill to take a better look at the figure in the distance, he took a moment to study the archangel's back as he had no clear vision over his face.  
  
His wings were bowing in down-right exhaustion and his head was bent, blue eyes trailing along the path that led him to god-knows-where.  
  
"Lucifer?"  
  
Lucifer stopped in his tracks, body blatantly shuddering at the voice that called his name out before he swiftly turned around with big blue curious eyes piercing through Sam's own, a look of confusion mixed with fear spreading across his face when he saw the hunter. Sam had expected a different reaction from Lucifer; a sardonic comment with a smug smirk as a bonus or just a 'thank Father' to express his relief.  
  
  
Sam decided to not pay too much attention to the strange looks that he was being given by the partly broken being as he stepped out of the Impala to approach him.  
  
The injuries were either small or deep and prominent, but they were only visible over his arms as he was wearing a shirt. How Lucifer had been able to survive through the bitter cold nights without something to warm up and fix himself, Sam wasn't really sure how that happened.  
  
"Where've you been?" he inquired in a gentle tone as he reached out to grasp at one of the archangel's arms and inspect his wounds whilst being absolutely sure of himself that he wasn't accidentally hurting Lucifer in the process, "I thought you were - I mean, we thought you were dead, and..."  
  
Still no response from the blonde, just a doe-eyed creature scanning Sam as if he was out of this world and the abnormal behavior slightly made him frown in confusion.  
  
The injuries needed to be taken care of as soon as possible though, or else it could cause an infection. His wings seemed to be in a pretty bad shape too which was no good sign.  
  
As soon as Sam realized that a reply wasn't going to roll out of Lucifer mouth any time soon, he decided to take him with much against Dean's will. It took a five minute argument between the two of them until they both could come to terms and accept that in no way in Hell Sam was going to let Lucifer walk another few miles down a deserted road without any sense of orientation or anywhere to shelter at.  
  
During the trip, the archangel remained quiet which was again something that surprised Sam dearly. He kept whipping his head around to take a few quick glances at Lucifer who was busy following what was going outside (mostly just the trees flitting by one for one), just to be sure that he was doing okay - and well, if Sam had to be honest, he didn't look okay at all. Not in the slightest.  
  
Lucifer looked all battered up, as if he had been beaten up by a gang for unintentionally invading something private. Sam really didn't want to know what kind of troubling adventures the archangel had gotten himself into through the three months that he went missing even though he knew that Lucifer was a tough one, both in physical strength and in mojo, someone who could handle a few obstacles in life and even encourages them to cross his path.  
  
  
A rebel but also a challenging one and a not all too easy target to take down.  
  
"Cat got your tongue, or what?" Dean asked randomly and laughed for a while as he looked through the rear-view mirror to check up on the archangel casually sitting in the backseats, looking mildly uncomfortable. "Seems like the Devil here has finally caught up with the ultimate steps of behaving like a grown-up instead of messing around with daddy's toys, huh?"  
  
Sam nudged older brother's shoulder and sent him a narrowing glare, telling him in a hushed voice to tone it down a few notches to which Dean only responded with a single eye roll and a huff of exasperation.  
  
  
The rest of the ride back to the bunker consisted of plain quietness in general but also worrying thoughts circling the younger hunter's mind, mostly about how Lucifer was never going to open his mouth ever again, but once they arrived, Sam was the first one to get out of the car and instantly focus on helping the archangel out just in case he'd hurt himself on his own.  
  
Lucifer kept sparing him these weird glances, partially as if he wasn't looking for any sort of guidance that made Sam question what the hell was actually going on. Something didn't sit right, Sam could feel it but he wasn't ready to start any drama and question Lucifer about it just yet. He was going to get to that later.  
  
The hunter had supportively carried Lucifer all the way to the door with one of his arms resting over his shoulders and helped him take careful steps down the stairs to the main area of the bunker. Once they had successfully reached their destination, Sam led him to a chair and went searching for a first aid kit that was in the carton boxes situated in one of the many the storage rooms back in the bunker's long corridor.  
  
The place held a lot of useful resources and tools, mainly just information and books to consult but also supplies for emergencies in case things went South. Fatality apparently didn't seem to be an option for the Men Of Letters back in the time, and Sam could absolutely live with that. Nothing was ever worth losing one or multiple team mates - although to be fair, Lucifer had never officially been considered as a member of the team.  
  
Lucifer had done a lot of bad deeds in the past and had mostly been obsessive with the idea of getting revenge on someone he'd been so fond of once. With the initial plan of the apocalypse, striving for Sam's approval was one of his number one priorities scribbled down on his list. He had sinned for justice, delved deeper into further evil plans that could take out his Father's creations.  
  
Sam could understand his indignation, how deeply wounded he was from the inside but not for a second could he think that letting the world burn down was acceptable. It would've been quite selfish to just let it all happen, so sacrificing himself and fighting back was the only option left in his book to save the entire human race from being completely erased from existence and many who were aware of the event that had taken place were thankful even though Dean had been mourning his little brother's loss in the background.  
  
The day where he succeeded to conquer Lucifer and Michael both, he sprang into the pit and fell into the cage. It was a cold and sinister place where Sam had kept a fairly measured distance between himself and the two fierce archangels who were mostly busy biting back at each other with smoldering eyes until they began throwing fists in every direction, blood splattering all over the floor.  
  
  
And Sam wasn't the only one trembling in fear. So was Adam.  
  
Though, there were these very rare moments where Michael and Lucifer took a break from fighting like cats and dogs. Their backs turned on each other, and Michael usually just looked into the dark abyss under them through the metal bars while Lucifer sat near Sam with his knees pulled to his chest, his dark blue eyes that held sparks of rage which soon extinguished not sparing anyone a glance.  
  
Sam wondered why he hadn't been shredded to pieces, snapped into meat confetti or been choked by Lucifer's bare hands yet. He had gotten him back there in the first place so he expected at least some sort of vengeful actions that would lead him to witness what agony really felt like for the rest of eternity - but no.  
  
The cage remained calm.  
  
The brothers averted eye-contact.  
  
Adam weeped until he fell asleep in the corner.  
  
And Sam... well, he tried to mind his own business and keep his mouth shut even though he felt the urge to shoot Lucifer a few questioning glances, ask him how he was doing. Obviously that was completely redundant. By the grimace on the archangel's face, Sam could tell that he felt awful.  
  
There was no torture. And surprisingly after months of spending his precious time into the cage with Michael and Lucifer, he acknowledged that they had a soft, caring side. They both took their time to calm down before they began interacting with their vessels after the first week that they had fallen into the cage and had been assembled.  
  
Michael had gained Adam's trust after a few hours of trying to talk to him. Then, pursued by brushing tiny, hesitant kisses over each other's lips after a month, something that seemed to help Adam live in sheer bliss. Later on, things became wilder between those two and Sam soon became used to it even though it was slightly distracting and frustrating after a while.  
  
It took a long period of time for Lucifer to turn his attention towards Sam too and properly talk to him again after what had happened. But when he heard Lucifer whisper a low and hesitant "Are you okay?", Sam knew he had nothing to worry about anymore and an apologetic smile just spread across his face before he was crushed into a firm protective embrace by the archangel, wings shielding them from anything that seemed to be a treat such as the fires of hell, the torturous spell that the cage held and Lucifer's older brother who fixated them with vicious looks from time to time.  
  
Yes, Lucifer wasn't pleased - but he couldn't be mad at Sam. And Sam couldn't bring himself to the idea of hating Lucifer no matter how wicked his plans were and how he let himself easily drown into revenge and rage. He might've been the only one that was aware that deep inside of Lucifer resided a saint free from sins.    
  
There was a discreet warmhearted side that the archangel only revealed to a sole person in the entire universe, a man to look at him like he was anything but a monster, and that was Sam. But when he left the cage unexpectantly and was nowhere to be found, Lucifer had roared in despair and let the worst side of him take control and become the most cruel monstrosity of all beings that men would've feared if he was set free onto the world again.  
  
"Alright, show me those nasty cuts of yours," Sam muttered under his breath as he placed the first aid kit down on the table near Lucifer who bluntly blinked at him. He retrieved a bottle of water to remove the dirt and fully clean the wounds, antibiotic ointment to reduce the chance of an infection and some bandages patch him up later on. "This may hurt a little bit. I'm gonna count, and on three I will spray, okay?"  
  
Lucifer just kept still, a crease existing between his brows when Sam reached for his left arm and carefully prodded at one of the cuts. He quickly removed his finger when a gasp left the archangel's lips, and began counting.  
  
"One... two..."  
  
Sam sprayed some water over one of the wounds around his left arm and leaned back when Lucifer flinched.  
  
"Faex, matris futuor!"  
  
At the string of latin cusses that left Lucifer's mouth, Dean's head cocked from the kitchen door to look at what was going on, an amused grin appearing when he saw the archangel being handled like a child.  
  
"That hurts!"  
  
"Yeah, I warned you for it."  
  
"You said you were spraying on three!" Lucifer groaned as Sam battered his hand away, not allowing him to touch his wounds any longer.  
  
"But I didn't promise anything," Sam countered as he grabbed the bandages, "Quit behaving like a five year old, it wasn't even that bad."  
  
Lucifer twitched in his seat at that, his eyes fueled with anger and his mouth ready to backfire in defense and argue back - but he didn't.  
  
"Lean back, the pain is over now," Sam told him in a soft tone as he kneeled in front of Lucifer and applied the ointment before he focused on working the bandage around his arm, the wounds vanishing beneath the lightweight cotton as it covered his entire limbs.  
  
His words were a definite promise and his touch was gentle, something that had put Lucifer at ease after a few seconds. He sank back in his seat, his bright blue eyes losing the little bit of dark liquid of anger that had filled in previously as he let them trail over Sam's face and inspect him as he was being taken care of.  
  
It was as if Lucifer had never felt quite as pleased with the feeling of being treated right and someone talking to him in such a calm temper. He had no clue why he could feel his heart beating in his throat and sparks fly up his spine as Sam applied some pressure to his skin with his fingers, warmth sinking into Lucifer's arms causing goosebumps to rise in reaction.  
  
Once Sam had finished, he pressed a deliberate kiss over the bandage and looked up at Lucifer with a twinkle of sympathy displaying into both his hazel eyes.  
  
"Feel any better?"  
  
"Not really..."  
  
There was a hint of a smile that teased at Sam's lips, "It will soon."


	2. Chapter 2

For such a large bunker, it lacked quite the attention that it deserved and the habitants. There were over a dozen rooms, either stocked with old furniture that needed to be cleaned or an aisle of shelves and drawers cladded in dust with ancient books and information that would serve the Winchesters if they ever decided to make the actual effort to sweep through the entire place. Every room in the back of the corridor in the corner were sadly unused, except the dungeon in case they had captivated a new prisoner to acquire new information from.  
  
It was an exciting place full of mysteries overall that brought Sam and Dean the tranquility when they were busy researching - except for Lucifer, an archangel who didn't give a flying fuck about pushing his nose into books or enhancing his knowledge about what was currently roaming the Earth, what exactly was on a killing spree in Kansas or the number of deaths that were counting up in Colorado - he shouldn't care.  
  
Lucifer shouldn't care about humans nor about the mentions of suspects that committed murder, but it had been brought to Sam's attention that he did take some sort of interest to their work, the conversations they held concerning crime scenes that they were investigating and an assembly of folklore books placed on the top shelves in the bibliothecal area of the bunker.  
  
Wasn't Lucifer one of the first to know witness the creation of life the Earth by heart besides God and his brothers?    
  
Why was he reading John's journal and flicking through every page until he was done reading them?  
  
Why was Lucifer being so attentive during their discussions?  
  
Wasn't he supposed to make some snarky comment to show his annoyance?  
  
Lucifer had been Sam's prime concern for as long as the bandages were present around his arms, and after having noticed his eccentric behavior, one thing was for damn sure and that was that the guy had gone completely bonkers ever since they had succeeded to track him down.  
  
"He acts eerie..."  
  
Dean glanced up from his phone, before his face crumbled into a puzzled expression.  
  
"Who...?"  
  
"Lucifer, who else?"    
"Nothin' seems wrong to me." Dean shrugged his shoulder carelessly before he looked back down at the display screen of his phone, reading something (apparently engulfed into something far more interesting than the current matter.).  
  
Sam's fingers were aching, nails raking his pants as he watched Lucifer shift in the corner of the main area, standing on his tiptoes to reach the upper shelf for a single book. Unfortunately the archangel's height was small compared to the bookcase, thus he could not get it.  
  
"He reads, Dean - reads!" he whisper-yelled, eyes not leaving the figure standing ten feet away from them. "You know those mythology books I had found when we made of the bunker our official home? He fucking reads folklore books and apparently theology as well, and-"  
  
"Well, maybe the guy is just _curious_ Sam," Dean mumbled, tongue poking from between his lips as he typed something up on his phone, "Just let him be."  
  
This time, he turned to lean over the table to keep their conversation more private and to be sure that Lucifer wasn't eavesdropping from where he stood, "He's a _primordial_ being for crying out loud!" he susurrated, "Which ultimately means, if you use your brain to its fullest potential, that Lucifer is fully caught up with all of his Father's creations. He was there to witness it. So... conclusion? He literally has _no_ reason to be topically standing in our library, trying to grab the thickest encyclopedia of ancient history on the top shelf that even you can't reach, nor skimming through all of our stuff whatsoever - especially not taking any interest to the cases we are trying to solve here."  
  
"And why is that?" Dean said, taking a sip from his beer. It didn't look like he was being all that attentive either, which made Sam sink back in his chair with a frustrated sigh.  
"Because Lucifer never cared about humans, nor how many crimes were committed as he himself killed an entire village five years ago. He loathes their existence."  
  
"Alright, look..." Dean brought the tip of his beer bottle back to his lips and drank from it, eyes closing as he liquid slid down his throat.  
  
The urge to roll his eyes was strong but Sam kept himself from trying it once Dean placed it back down and cleared his throat, this time his fullest attention put back on his little brother instead of his device. "We retrieved him back from the shitter against my will, you patched him up, he's been wandering around our bunker for the past three days and hallelujah, the guy's been the quietest he's ever been. What more do we need?"  
  
"I need to know what's going on."  
  
"There's nothing to freakin' investigate, Sammy!"  
  
Sam decided to keep his lips sealed after that, leaving Dean to whoever the fuck he was texting as an occupation instead of immersing himself into research for their case. His eyes were settled back onto Lucifer who had managed to finally snatch the book with the help of a chair from near the corner and was grazing the ink with his index finger, studying the letters scribbled over the blank pages - but his next move made Sam quickly stand, his chair practically tumbling backwards before he strode over to the archangel.  
  
He was sniffing his finger, pursuing to lick the ink with his forked tongue which made it absolutely clear to Sam that he had a screw loose.  
  
"Okay, alright - Lucifer, enough now, don't - okay, _don't_ do that!" he swiftly stole the book from Lucifer's hands and stared down at the trace of saliva on the page that he had left behind, completely sinking into the paper and completely ruining it. After a while of looking down at it, the words became illegible and Sam glanced back up with a somewhat enerved look, "I don't know what's wrong with you but you need to not do that ever again, you hear me?"  
  
Lucifer just blinked puzzled and tilted his head to the side as he stared ludicrously at Sam who dried the page with the back of his sleeve and uttered something unaudible as an expression of distaste washed over his face.  
  
"This is important information we need, Lucifer. I can't believe I'm scolding an eons year od archangel for this but you can't submerge our books into your own saliva," he said in a bitter tone, flicking through the pages to make sure it hadn't soaked through but the rest seemed to be in a correct state. He exaled in relief and clasped the book closed before putting it back on the highest shelf that only he could reach.  
  
The archangel looked up at it as Sam rubbed the dust off of his hands.  
  
"There, now that we got that covered, tell me what the hell is going on with you."  
  
Sam's gaze narrowed Lucifer down until he felt like he was shrinking in his spot, fear replacing the curiosity that was previously distinguishable in his scintillant blue eyes. And as per usual, Lucifer didn't budge and just stayed soundless while staring back at the person who talked to him. He looked like a child who hadn't been given the proper permission to open presents before Christmas, and Sam suddenly felt like something had grabbed his heart and given it an abrupt twist that made him want to step forward in sympathy and apologize for using a bitter tone, though he attempted his best to keep his composure.  
  
"Did you lose your tongue?"  
  
The sarcastic remarks that he decided to throw into the mixture of confusion weren't going to help, but they reminded him of whom Lucifer was and he couldn't help it.  
  
"All jokes aside, Lucifer, I need to know; did something happen to you while you were strayed?" Sam questioned, settling his warm hand on the Devil's shoulder which shot a bolt of electricity up his spine like fireworks, "Did someone hurt you?"  
  
"No..."  
  
His voice was calm and collective, small, and his blue eyes burning through Sam's soul.  
  
"Then... why?" Sam shook his head. "Why are you reading about subjects that you have seen far more evidence about than anyone else and just a pile of ancient books dismissing half of the real truth and why... aren't you virulent?"  
  
Vivid confusion was written over Lucifer's face again before Sam proceeded.  
  
"I mean all of those virulent comments that you throw here and there - you hate humans, don't you? Don't you just despise their existence so much you can feel your insides twist in anger and a bad taste predominate the back of your mouth?"  
  
The words spilled from his lips like a bottle of ink, his breathing accelarating and his nostrils flaring as he sought for anything in Lucifer - something that could keep him hopeful that he was still remotely himself.  
  
"I asked you a question!" Sam unintentionally hollered in a shaky voice which caused Lucifer to jolt a good meter up in the air and Dean to whip around from where he sat.  
  
"I - no, I - I don't..."  
  
Lucifer's jaw went slack when he was out of words to say and Sam's gaze burned through him like a lazerbeam, waiting impatiently for a more explicit or comprehensible response which never came. And because he didn't get what he wanted, what he asked for, his expression of anger melted into a pained one. Sam felt boneless after the first five minutes that had passed by and they'd been staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, his hands still gripping tight at Lucifer's shoulders and willing to shake him back to reality.  
  
Instead, he released him and his palms slid over the archangel's chest until his arms dropped by his sides and he just became as immobile as a statue. A sculpture that could very well become renowned for all the emotions that burst out of itself at first sight.  
  
"I just..." the first few words that left Lucifer's lips were lazily drawled, and his eyes lightly squinting before widening them again after a second or two, "...don't understand what you're talking about."  
  
By the time Sam regained consciousness and his mind had captured a response that made his heart flutter incessantly and his knees go weak, Dean had pulled him back.  
  
"Alright, big guy, time to slow it down." he said, patting Sam on the chest, "Take a beer, a breather, drive the impala, do some research - just anything, please yourself, but don't try to get yourself all worked up like that, dude. That ain't healthy."  
  
Suddenly abashed as he realized how he had acted earlier on, Sam blew a nervous breath and started lightly nodding, mentally counting to ten so he could calm down.  
  
"I - yeah, okay," he whispered finally, voice thick as he spoke, "I can do that."


	3. Chapter 3

Sam missed it all. He realized that after a while of contemplating about his experiences back in the cage. How one individual he had grown to fear since the beginning of the apocalypse could relate to him so well, could understand him better than anyone else and eventually, how all of that fear dissipated once he became acquainted with the Devil's soft side. The Father of Sins. The one who's prediction about the future and vengeful plans got crumbled and torn into a thousand pieces by one single man that Lucifer still couldn't hold a grudge against.  
  
Sam and Lucifer, dwelling in a prison, together. For some reason it all felt so _right_.  
   
The memories of the hellfires, through the hot temperature that practically seared the flesh off of Sam's bones meanwhile pleasure shot through his veins and he felt completely elated - cocooned in Lucifer's wings, at home, almost.  
  
He remembered the soft breathy moans that Michael and Adam released while Lucifer kept him comfort, cool fingertips brushing over his skin that burned hot. The intimacy so strong, their physical contact persistent but something that they both were fond of doing.    
  
Sam also remembered the split-second where Lucifer, completely drowned in lust and curiosity, had leaned in so close, lips barely touching his. How his eyes screwed shut and a shuddering breath left his mouth, his heart thumping so loud that the sound reverberated in the depths of Hell. How much he craved, his soul aching to be touched, to be felt, to have Lucifer take control and torture him in a thousand ways that would leave him broken at the end.  
  
But he had never been fully satisfied, never received the torture nor got to taste Lucifer's mouth, feel the pressure of his lips against his own.  
  
Thinking about the fact that Lucifer shot him these incredulous looks now when he kissed his wounds 'better' in a way of showing affection and that he cared saddened him. It was almost as if he didn't remember how much he used to love it; how he gave Sam permission to card his fingers through his velvet feathers without a single word and kissed the damaged parts that bled as Lucifer arched his back and threw his head backwards, a growl of gratisfaction slipping from his throat.    
  
They took care of each other. All the time. And they had promised to keep doing that for as long as they were still alive.  
  
But it seemed that Lucifer had broken that promise.  
  
"Do you remember?" Sam asked the next morning, the question pouring from his lips impulsively as Lucifer was having breakfast in the corner of the kitchen, licking the milk from his spoon before his eyes flicked over to Sam. The hunter mentally cussed at himself for being so damn stupid, for forcing himself to keep this game going - because in all honesty, he shouldn't. It was driving him completely insane and he was sure that his ears would fume soon.  
  
"Remember _what_...?"  
  
There was a brief flash of pain perceptible in Sam's eyes that Lucifer didn't catch as he was too busy munching on his food.  
  
"Never mind..." Sam trailed off with an irritated sigh, leaning against the kitchen counter as he watched the archangel's forked tongue poke out of his lips and lick at the metal utensil he held in his hand before he looked at the upside down reflection, blinking in bewilderment. "What happened out there?"  
  
Lucifer glanced back up, blue eyes gleaming. He shrugged his shoulders and began mingling the cereals in his milk with his spoon.  
  
"I just walked, and walked, and walked..."  
  
"You walked." Sam deadpanned, "Literally just walked. Nothing else happened."  
  
"Yes. I walked."  
  
"Bullshit."  
  
At that, Lucifer left his breakfast alone and leaned back into his chair as Sam removed himself from the kitchen counter and paced around the table from where he sat, taking a seat near him.  
  
"Lucifer, I need you to be honest with me. You told me you would never trick me, fool me, lie to me. Don't make me lose trust in you."  
  
"I told you; I walked. Dot on the line." Lucifer bit back, brows narrowing. There was that attitude Sam had missed. At least he still had it in him."And since when did I tell you that I would never do such a thing exactly? I _barely_ know you."  
  
Sam gaped and his eyes grew wide as Lucifer grabbed his bowl of unfinished cereals and dumped it into the sink.  
  
"What do you mean you barely know me?"  
  
"You picked me up from a damn road," Lucifer huffed as he washed his hands with soap, "Just because you took care of a few scratches doesn't mean that you're my friend."  
A wave of sudden rage rushed over Sam, and he snapped back, "They weren't just 'a few scratches', your skin was peeled and cut, and you were bleeding!"  
  
"What do you want from me?" Lucifer yelled back, turning his entire body around as he stared Sam dead in the eye, "Do you want me to show you some gratitude because you saved my sorry ass from living without a roof above my head when I didn't even ask for any of your help?"  
  
Sam remained silent.  
  
"See these?" the archangel pointed a thumb at what Sam figured were his wings, "These stupid things I'm carrying on my back, whatever the fuck they are, have made my entire trip on foot a living hell for me. But I survived, all on my own - and I was doing just _fine_."  
  
"You weren't doing just fine," Sam protested in a soft tone, shaking his head, "If we hadn't found you and given you a proper treatment in time, you would've gotten a serious infection by now and perhaps you would've risked your wings-"  
  
"Wings." the Devil scoffed as if it humored him and tossed the towel he had dried his hands with aside before walking over to the exit door of the kitchen, his wings bowing behind him.    
  
The few stitches were visible below the layer of burned velvet feathers which Sam took the opportunity to study with weary eyes, before Lucifer stopped and shook them, turning his head until Sam could merely see the side of his face.  
  
"I was doing just fine."  
  


* * *

  
Despite the conversation that had gone wrong and Sam ruminating about whether he was mistaken or that Lucifer was hiding something from him for half an hour, the rest of the morning was tranquil which meant that the Winchesters could drink their coffee in peace and prepare themselves for a road trip to Louisiana. They had mustered both of their duffle bags with guns and Dean had put them in the back of Baby while Sam went to fetch his laptop from the main area.  
  
Neither him or Dean had seen Lucifer in the three hours that went by surprisingly, so Sam quickly took a minute to glue a post-it note to the map table and write a little message so that the archangel didn't have to worry about where they were.  
  
Walking back outside, he made sure to lock the door of the bunker for Lucifer's safety. Just the notion of looking out for the Devil's welfare made Sam grimace, but then grin afterwards as he went to sit into the passengers seat of the Impala and they drove off.  
  
It was a thirteen hour drive with eight hundred miles ahead of them. Sam hated long voyages like these, especially now that he couldn't check on Lucifer's wounds for four days straight. It slightly made him worry; would he be able to take care of himself? Take off the bandages and substitute the recent with new ones? Did he know where the first aid kit was situated?  
  
Sam cussed at himself under his breath and managed a hand in his hair, teeth grazing over his bottom lip in nervosity.  
  
"I fucked up."  
  
Dean narrowed his eyebrows, his eyes still on the road, "What do you mean you fucked up?"  
  
"Lucifer's injuries - he doesn't have the faintest idea of how to properly take care of them."  
  
"He's an archangel, Sam. He can heal and shit."  
  
"Yeah but... he hasn't been using his mojo for anything lately, not even to cure his own injuries which makes me wonder if his grace has been disabled for a while," Sam mused with a thoughtful expression and a finger rubbing over his stubble, "I mean, it only makes sense, right? Maybe it's because of how Amara expelled him from Cas. He must've landed pretty far and seemed to be in bad shape when we picked him up, but that means his grace has been no use to him for those three months he went missing because he was too weak to use it."  
  
"Whatever man, he's fine." Dean assured as if he knew better and waved it off with one hand before turning the steering wheel as he made a turn left, "He's a douchebag but he's been unexpectedly quiet these past few days which he can count himself lucky for."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I was 'bout to kick his ass right back out once he was done recovering."  
  
"But didn't we both agree on letting him stay?" Sam turned away from the window to look at his brother, "I told you in explicit details what my intentions were as the one who's solely responsible over him for now, to keep him and give him a home."  
  
"That wasn't part of the deal, Sam."  
  
"You said he was allowed to stay when we were compromising!"  
  
"Yeah, until he freakin' regains all of his strength back and can go on his own. The Devil doesn't need a damn babysitter."  
  
"Then why didn't you stop me when I was talking about clearing out one of the storage rooms to make a bedroom out of it?" Sam said, using a more bitter tone, "For Lucifer?"  
"Because I thought it was only temporary!" Dean gritted his teeth, scowling, "Now please shut up and get some actual rest before I volunteer to punch you till you black out. I'll call Cas, he knows on what tree the spare keys hang so he'll check up on him, okay?"  
  
Sam just nodded and didn't make any further comments before he let his head rest against the window and closed his eyes, a dream taking him away from his consciousness. 


	4. Chapter 4

Four days of work had been quite rough as per usual, but they never stopped until they had successfully beaten the monster that had gone rogue in Louisiana.  
  
Though after having packed all of their stuff that had been lying around in their motel room, Dean got a quick call from Castiel that got Sam alarmed when he heard Lucifer's name fall from his older brother's lips. There was a look of concern that washed over both of their faces, especially Sam who immediately dropped the empty gun and duffel bag he was holding before pacing across the room to join Dean and eavesdrop on their conversation.  
  
"Yeah we're on our way right now, Cas. We'll be there tomorrow morning, alright?"  
  
"What's going on?" Sam mouthed but got shushed when Dean held his hand up.  
  
"There was some leftover risotto in the kitchen - I don't know if he likes that but I left some just in case. Did he eat all of it?"  
  
"Dean-"  
  
"For fuck's sake will you please _shut up_ for just one - okay, that's great... No I was talking to Sam... Yeah, I don't think we have any more supplies left other than those two plates of risotto and - oh hold up, check the kitchen cabinets... The top ones, yeah. Maybe there's still a little bit of bread left but I doubt it..."  
  
Sam felt like his face was about to burst into flames. He snatched his bag and gun before stomping out of the motel room in a hurry and launching them into the back of the car, not really giving a shit if Dean was going to yell at him later on to clean up all of his mess. He was desperate to return back to the bunker and help with whatever was going on.  
  
"Okay that's good to hear. Don't let 'em play bossy, nor escape, got that?" Dean jested as soon as he locked the motel room, "Alright listen up, it's a thirteen hour drive back to Kansas. Be careful around there, don't burn the bunker down..."  
  
The trip was quieter than both of the Winchesters had expected. Except for the few times where Sam couldn't help himself and just had to ask what Castiel had given out as information but never really received the answer he sought for. It was either just "You'll see" or "I have no freakin' clue dude, he never told me" and Sam wanted to believe him, he really did.  
  
The sleepless nights in the motel room had served him well because it helped him pass time in the car, and fortunately Dean was not in the mood to listen to any classic rock music while driving this time.  
  
Sam was being shook awake by a hand on his shoulder that quickly made his eyes fly open, his first instinct not even to look at Dean but just strive for the door handle of the car and push it open before hurrying off to the bunker with haste. Completely forgetting that the door was locked at all times, he banged on it with all his might and screamed for Cas to come and open up until Dean patted him on the shoulder and he whipped around, eyes wide and breathing erratically.  
  
"Alright dude, chill. You look like you've been sniffin' cocaine for five years," Dean chuckled and scampered over his jeans pockets and got the key from them, dangling them off his finger and showing them off to his little brother, "Keys exist, yeah?"    
  
Seeing how impatient Sam looked with a glare that could kill caused Dean to clear his throat and push all jokes aside before he opened the door and cautiously stepped back when it clicked open. Sam of course was the first one to run inside.  
  
Lucifer was sitting in the main room with Cas in front of him, fingers pressed to the archangel's head and his eyes glowing a light that partly blinded half of the room once the Winchesters stepped down the stairs. He paused and cut his grace off as soon as he heard Sam and Dean groan and turned, a wave of relief rushing him down.  
  
"You're here," Cas breathed happily, " _Finally_."  
  
Sam blinked his eye-floaters away and tried to focus. He staggered forwards and Dean caught him with a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Where is - where is Lucifer, I need to know if-"  
  
"He's _right there_ , smartass." Dean told him, pointing at the blonde perched in a chair with his hands in his lap, looking absolutely exhausted.   
  
"Oh." Sam gulped down and visibly relaxed his muscles, glancing at Castiel. It was as if all of his worries had been robbed and replaced by eternal relief, and Sam suddenly felt as light as a feather. "He's... fine."  
  
"Well, not exactly." Castiel cleared his throat and looked back at his older brother who was staring into nothingness, dull blue eyes glazed.    
  
"What, did he accidentally get traumatized by getting stuck in the potty?"  
  
Dean got lightly punched in the shoulder by an irritated Sam.  
  
"I'm afraid that it's far worse than you would have expected, especially for you, Sam." Cas sent Sam a knowing look, and his body stiffened. "While both of you were away, I noticed that he wasn't up to par lately."  
  
"Yes, that's exactly what I - see, I _told_ you!" Sam turned to Dean who rolled his eyes, "I fucking knew there was something wrong with his behavior."  
  
"Bravo. Ten points. What do you want, a lollipop?"  
  
Castiel neglected the few gruff exhanges between the Winchesters and cleared his throat, regaining their attention when he spoke up again, "I managed to break into his memories and puzzle all of them together to know exactly what happened to him. The process drained seventy-five percent of my grace and took approximately three days, but I aced it." he swiftly turned around to grab a stack of papers from the table, "I have all of the results here, but they are complex to read and comprehend for humans."  
  
Crossing the room, Sam aimed to grab the papers that Cas held in his hands when they were handed over to him.  
  
"Enochian." Sam remarked, eyes sailing over the letters. He was able to read a little bit of it but half of it was too foreign for him to understand.  
  
"Mhm," the angel nodded, "I retrieved every single word that has shuffling in his mind for the past three months."  
  
"Wait, what?"  
  
"When I arrived here, I found Lucifer slumped over the floor, unconscious. I woke him up and asked him what happened - and he kept repeating 'revertetur in terram suam' until I was forced to shut him down with my grace."  
  
"revertetur in what now?" Dean asked, confused. "The hell does that mean?"  
  
"Come back home..." Sam's heart clenched behind his ribcage as he said it. He knew what those three words were for. Lucifer had been waiting for Sam to return to him.  
  
"Exactly." Cas said while leaning to look over Sam's shoulder and pointing at the letters, "And here you have the entire list of words that have been twirling in his mind which I suspect must have begun ever since Amara banished him from my body."  
  
"What do they explain? Can you read them?"  
  
"Yes, like I said, I puzzled them together which took me three days. They're brief sophisticated sentences mixed between a hundred more, all memories, thoughts that his damaged brain currently can't connect to anymore. They're spilled and aimlessly wandering around his mind which of course makes no sense to Lucifer, causing these random moods such as frustration, laziness and confusion."  
  
Sam gulped down the lump that was forming in his throat, the sound of paper crumbling as his fingers gripped tighter at the edges and he almost cut his skin with it. His throat went dry as he spoke up, "So..."  
  
"He has amnesia. Partial loss of memory. The brain injury must've occured when he got blasted away by Amara's powers. His landing mustn't've been safe at all; he could've bashed his head against a wall or a tree - anything that could be almost as hard as concrete, but I'm not certain of what it was."  
  
"Cool, so we're keepin' him like this, right? Consider the benefits; less chances of him throwing a fit and less misery...?" Dean carelessly threw his duffel bag in the corner of the room before walking over to the kitchen, "It's only fair."  
  
Sam disregarded his brother's snarky comments and flicked through the pages, "Can't you heal him?"  
  
"Unfortunately not, no. If my grace gets any more involved with his mind and it accidentally combines with his own, it could risk the possibility of completely tweaking him until he is traumatized. He's an archangel and in no way does my power compare to his on any scale, so if I mess anymore with his mind, his grace could react in defense and burn me from the inside out."  
  
"Do we have any more decent solutions then?" Sam asked, "To get Lucifer to remember everything from his past?"  
  
"You must be aware that I never claimed to be a doctor, so the idea might be dubious for now. But since his memories aren't lost and still present, we can try to shoot him the most important hints so that Lucifer lets his brain work as he cogitates and eventually, all of the memories will sink back into his brain. This can possibly be done in a day and is not all too hard to do." Castiel suggested, before he squeezed his eyes shut and took a moment to think, "You play a role in the majority of his memories, too."  
  
Sam's lips twitched before a small, warm smile displayed onto them. He saw Lucifer slightly moving in the corner of his eye, which made him look up from the Enochian script. His heart shrunk a few sizes at the sight. Lucifer's face was pale and he had bags under his eyes, his irises losing the blue hues and his fingers pressed into his thighs, lips purple and sitting completely still.  
  
He seemed emotionless.  
  
"Sam, I don't wanna bring this up when your brother is near..." Castiel trailed off and glanced at the kitchen door, before approaching Sam and laying a hand on his shoulder, "...but I know what happened in the cage. Lucifer's memories showed me."  
  
Sam's muscles flexed under his palm.  
  
"I think he found some kind of comfort in you when he needed it the most, and he opened up to you which is why I think that it's best for you to try and talk to him about the cage and... since I'm aware of the fact that he was fond of the notion of being in your vicinity, make any kind of physical contact so he remembers about the special bond you two had."  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Sam had spent the first hour in the morning to go out to the store to buy a good quantity of fruit for his next plan to persuade Lucifer into talking to him, which was one of Castiel's plans. Apparently Lucifer was very fond of food, so it was sort of an apology for earlier before they left on a hunt, and he hoped it was going to be enough.  
  
When he came back, Dean was ambling into the main room wearing one of his bathrobes with a coffee cup in his hand and a spoon in the other, ready to mingle the steamy liquid right before his eyes caught Sam walking down the stairs with a small plastic bag in one of his hands.  
  
"Already went out for breakfast?"  
  
"Nah, I wouldn't go without you." Sam said and circled around his older brother to approach the table, "I went out to buy supplies to restock the pantry. And unfortunately, they were out of waffles. So that means no waffles with sirup for breakfast today."  
  
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, mumbling something along the lines of "of course they're out of waffles" as if it was so easy to predict before he sat down on the edge of the map table, watching as Sam took the supplies out of the plastic bag and placed them down one for one.  
  
"Why'd ya bring that?" he pointed sharply towards the grapes that his brother had taken out and laid out next to each other like they were valuable artifacts that belonged to a museum.  
  
"Have something against healthy food, Dean?" Sam raised an eyebrow but didn't bother to glance at Dean.  
  
"Dude, you usually never bring fruit to the bunker."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with changing my food schedule up a little." he shrugged, "We can't always eat unhealthy junkfood for breakfast and for dinner either. There needs to be a variety once in a while."  
  
"Variety sucks." Dean mumbled and pouted afterwards before taking a long and silent sip from his coffee.  
  
"Says you, not me."  
  
The fruit was of course initially supposed to be an apology gift for Lucifer, but at the end Sam decided that it could also be shared because after taking notice that not everything would fit into a huge bowl anyway, he decided to put a pannier in the middle of the kitchen counter and fill it so that he could steal an apple every morning before going out for a run.  
  
Dean rarely made the effort to sink his teeth in the sweet flesh of any kind of fruit, not even to taste the palatable juice in his mouth. But when he did, the fruit he preferred over any other were plums.  
  
Once the fruit was laid out on the table, Sam went to look for a cutting board and a sharp knife from the kitchen. And as Dean had gone back to his room to continue the rest of the morning with a little bit of sleep, Sam started cutting the apples, bananas, plums and pears into tiny cubes. Whilst he busied himself with it, he wondered if they still had that smoothy maker lying around one of the storage rooms in the back of the corridor.  
  
After a good thirty minutes of occupying himself on the fruit plate, Sam kept the rest that remained of it reserved in the fridge for when he would be in the mood to eat.  
  
"That's looking very good, Sam."  
  
Sam looked up as he dried his hands off on the towel that he was holding and smiled gratefully. "You think he'll accept it?"  
  
"Knowing my brother, he wouldn't be able to refuse it." Castiel said and returned the smile. "I suggest you to bring him a glass of fruit juice as well. Lucifer used to pluck the mandarins from the trees while we were gathered around the lake as a family reunion, and squeezed all of its juice out. Then, he retrieved celestial shards that bloomed out in the vallees before grinding them and mingling the resources together. His passion for producing the best mandarin juice was truly a blessing."  
  
Sam grinned when Cas closed his eyes at the pleasant memory and hummed.  
  
"I didn't buy any mandarins. But this is already a good start, I think." Sam told him as he threw a few grapes into the bowl and then carefully took it into his hands, "Let's see what he thinks of it."  
  
As he walked down the corridor, he kept his eyes fixated on the floor to make sure that he wouldn't accidentally trip over anything. It would've been absolutely mortifying to end up doing something as clumsy as tripping and falling with his face right into the bowl of fruit, and Sam was already glad that he got safely to the front door of Lucifer's bedroom without doing anything as stupid.  
  
Sam delicately knocked onto the door trice and awaited a sound or a voice to let him know that there was anyone present, but when nothing came, he spoke up.  
"Lucifer, it's Sam," he said and cleared his throat, his eyes lingering over the cubes of apples and grapes topping the slices of pear, and licked his lips. "I just came back from the store and found something that you might coincidentally like..."  
  
There was a brief moment of silence, before the door handle clicked and one blue eye peeped from the opening. Lucifer observed Sam up and down curiously, before he noticed the round bowl of fruit and gently pushed the door open all the way to fully reveal himself.  
  
"I uhm... this is for you. I kind of wanted to apologize for being a little bit of a jerk earlier and pressuring you into talking back to me..." Sam mumbled, holding it out for the archangel to take, "It's been tough on you, I'm sure. But I'm just really worried about your current health and wanna make absolutely sure that everything fine on your end--"  
  
"I'm good." Lucifer confirmed, cutting right through Sam's speech. His interest in the fruit was more than blatant, and it seemed as though the argument they had a while ago was already long forgotten.  
  
With a sigh, Sam hesitantly nodded towards the bowl as permission for him to take it. But instead, Lucifer just reached out and stole a slice of pear out in a hesitant pace, before experimentally bringing it to his mouth and biting a piece off of the fruit, the juice traveling down his chin and dripping off as he stared at Sam.  
  
Sam wanted to ask if it was good, but the look on the archangel's face already told him enough and he couldn't help but smile when he noticed the way Lucifer's eyes rolled back into his head and he hummed in pure satisfaction.  
  
"Well, I take it that you're enjoying your breakfast...?"  
  
Lucifer didn't really respond, only shamelessly robbed a few apple cubes from the bowl and shoved them into his mouth, savoring the sweet taste on his tongue with delight. There was just something about seeing him being this eager for fruit that Sam found extremely amusing, but he had to stop it right here.  
  
"Lucifer, we need to talk."  
  
At that, the pair of blue eyes innocently meandered back up until they met Sam's hazel ones. He dropped the few grapes that he held into one hand back into the bowl, and remained quiescent like he had been in the past few days.  


* * *

  
Now that Sam finally had the chance to start over again, he suddenly felt like he couldn't do it anymore. He was comfortably settled on the edge of Lucifer's bed, watching attentively as Lucifer continued munching on apple cubes, the juice splattering around in his mouth which Sam tried not to focus on too much, because that was not why he had come here for.  
  
He took a deep breath, hoping that Lucifer would somehow initiate the conversation, but he was too busy gobbling up the entire bowl of fruit, so he just started with something simple.  
  
"So, uhm... how are you doing?"  
  
The archangel's wings fluttered jauntily in response, a sign of appreciation that appeased Sam.  
  
"I'm doing well I suppose." Lucifer replied and licked the corner of his mouth like a contented cat before looking up at Sam, innocent fulgid blue eyes owlishly blinking at him. "How are _you_ , Sam?"  
  
Sam wasn't really sure how to respond to that. He could say that he was feeling absolutely dandy, but he wasn't one to lie.  
  
"I'm worried."  
  
"About me..." Lucifer expired, the bowl that rested in his hands partly empty which he placed near him on the mattress. "You're worried about me, isn't it?"  
  
"Lucifer, listen," Sam scooted an inch closer, and reached out to grasp one of the archangel's frigid hands in his own. Though, much to his surprise, Lucifer flinched back as if he'd just been charged with electricity by electric wire.  
  
There was a hint of genuine fear drilling in his eyes as he stared at Sam's hand. But even through that vivid fear, there was something encouragingly prodding him forward, something telling him that this was supposed to feel right. So he hesitantly placed his palm in Sam's hand, and watched fingers deliberately wrap around his own in a comforting manner.  
  
"There are things - very horrible things that you have suffered through all your life which you don't remember anymore," Sam explained, "So all of this is probably going to sound a little bit strange, but I need to carry you through this anyway. Though you need to promise me to keep your ears wide open for what's about to come, because it's gonna take a while to digest all of it."  
  
"Okay...?"  
  
Sam took the moment of silence that subsequently followed between them as an indication for him to continue.  
  
"You're an archangel."  
  
He attempted not to stutter and sound like a complete mess as the words escaped him, and he couldn't really tell what Lucifer's reaction was exactly. His mouth opened as if he intended to reply, but no words were being spoken. Lucifer just bluntly blinked at him as if he was waiting for Sam to say something else.  
  
"An archangel."  
  
Sam just noticed now that he was holding his breath, and exhaled.  
  
"An archangel." he repeated.  
  
Then came that brief moment of awkward silence again that Sam expected would fit in between their conversation at some point. He knew lots of them would come, and just patiently waited through them, leaving Lucifer to digest the new information that was being dispensed to him. He expected Lucifer to leap into a fit of giggles and tell him that the idea was just absurd, but from what Sam could see, Lucifer was taking it quite well so far.  
  
"Prove it."  
  
Sam bluntly blinked and contemplated for a moment too long, before aiming a finger at Lucifer's enormous velvet wings that had healed better ever since Sam had given them a fair treatment along with his wounds. He wasn't exactly an expert in celestial stuff, but the details were quite obvious.  
  
"Wings."  
  
Lucifer huffed as if he was being told a bad joke that still happened to amuse him somehow. "Right, wings. That's impossible!"  
  
"But you have them, and they're not made out of plastic, so your argument is invalid in this case."  
  
"Even if I do, my mind is not in the right state for me to believe that right now." Lucifer sighed, his wings slightly curving back.  
  
"Well, I didn't expect you to believe it right off the bat anyway." Sam sort of shrugged. "But you have wings, and you are one of the most powerful beings in the universe. You're gifted grace as an ethereal individual. But we suspect that you're currently powered down as you're recovering. Well, that's what Cas explicitly told me, at least."  
  
Lucifer shook his head in bemusement. "How do you know all of this?"  
  
"Uhm... well... It's kind of a long story to tell, but I suppose that's what I'm here for after all." Sam said and managed a prominent smile, gently squeezing Lucifer's hand he was still holding  in solace, "I am your essential other half, your soulmate. I was gifted to you as your true vessel, If I remember corrently - it's somethin' you told me about but I can't remember what exactly..."  
  
"I don't... quite understand."  
  
"Five years ago." he said, "I released you - I freed you from a very somber place, kind of unintentionally at first. I was petrified of my actions, of you and what was to come in the future."  
  
Lucifer remained silent and kept listening.  
  
"And when you were set free, you came to me first." Sam proceeded, his voice toned down as if all of this information was top secret. "You came to thank me for the unexpected liberation, told me that you were willing to reciprocate, to give me anything I wanted."  
  
As Sam continued on, the grip on Lucifer's hand tightened.  
  
And by the time he came to the very last chapter, tears began leaking from his eyes. They were transparent but filled with sorrow as he mouthed the words I got you back into that somber place.  
  
Sam's voice was laced with regret and his heart thumping so loud that the sound became tremendously clear to his ears, the vivid images of the cage pulling at his heart strings. It shouldn't have torn him apart this much, and he shouldn't have started crying for it - Lucifer should have instead.  
  
Hell, he should've bursted into flames and perhaps hit Sam, kicked him for all of his immoral doings. At least it would've given the archangel some kind of payback or justice. Sam thought he had all the right to fire his canons, but he didn't.  
  
Lucifer seemed... self-controlled.  
  
It irked Sam as much as it relieved him.  
  
"I wish I could say sorry over a billion times, since I never got the chance to properly do this," Sam said, voice trembling and the tears trickling over his lips that he wiped with his tongue, the salty taste indwelling his mouth.  "But you don't remember a thing, do you? You don't even remember a single thing about me."  
  
The archangel's eyebrows furrowed, "Sam, I-"  
  
"That cage - it was a horrible experience. No one deserves to sit in there for centuries. No one deserves to rot in there for even a second." Sam forced through gritted teeth, "It was boiling hot in there, but somehow whenever I was within your presence, I became completely numb to the scorching burns on my skin and forgot the pain. Everything always felt right."  
  
In the first time in years, Sam could finally pour his heart out to someone who could understand him better than anyone else he knew. Someone who used to accept him for who he was and did understand him all the time, who didn't call him a freak, who looked at him with eyes full of affection and understanding. That kind of someone who he'd sought for all his life, but was unable to find for a while.  
  
And even though Lucifer had lost all of his memories and Sam was aware that everything he was saying probably didn't make any sense to the archangel, really didn't change anything for him. He just needed to... talk, to let those words spill from his mouth. And as long as Lucifer kept his ears open and kept looking at him (even with mere curiosity and confusion mixed together), everything would be fine.  
  
"You'd - you'd just..." Sam inhaled shakily, making a very random and quick motion with his hand, eyes trailing down Lucifer's wings that fluttered as if they were sensitive to staring, "Hold me, and whisper in my ear, and touch me, and I'd feel safe again. I'd feel like home, wrapped up in your wings like I was worth every star in the universe."  
Sam released Lucifer's hand and wiped away the remaining tears that tickled his flushed cheeks, and Lucifer watched, his mouth still hanging wide open but completely lacking the words.  
  
"You'd always try and assure me that the holes in our hearts would be sewed, that we'd both heal as long as we'd stay together." he smiled at that thought, and let his eyes close. "I always believed you. Because whenever you weren't there, I'd feel empty... but when our fingers were meshed, I'd feel--"  
  
"Whole again."  
  
Sam's eyes fluttered open in a split-second, and he blinked, gaped wide.  
  
"Wait, what did you just-"  
  
"You'd feel complete." Lucifer said, completely immobile and tone indifferent. "Since the minute you were born, you felt like a single puzzle piece on the table, isolated and waiting, but none of the other pieces that entered your world would fit with you. Not until you met me. Not until we fell, together. Not until..."  
  
There was a long pause, and Sam didn't dare to speak up as if that was too uncivil for him to do - he just stared at the archangel with wide eyes, fingers curled into his lap. There was a sudden sensation washing over him, something warming up inside of him like a fireplace.  
  
Lucifer remembered.  
  
"Sam, I don't know what I'm--"  
  
Suddenly, the archangel's whole body bent over his own knees and wailed in pain, his hands placed on top of his head with a cry of agony, fingers grasping at his hair as if he were to pull it out of his skull.  
  
"Lucifer?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Cas!" Sam yelled as he stopped in the doorframe of the bunker's corridor, panting as if he'd just ran a marathon. "You need to come and see this!"  
  
A still sleepy Dean and Cas who were comfortably seated in the main room chitchating, shared a glance of bewilderment before they both moved towards Sam and he quickly led them to the archangel's bedroom door in the hallway, explaining hastily that he had tried to communicate and that Lucifer had started acting strange.  
  
Sam's heart was pounding in his throat and his stomach twisting from sheer worry, and as soon as he pushed the door of Lucifer's bedroom open, all three of them found the blonde on the floor, crawling towards anything as his eyes glowed a bright blue light that nearly blinded Sam and Dean once they had stepped inside the room.  
  
But that didn't stop him from calling out Lucifer's name to show how perturbed he really was, neither Cas who promptly took action and strove to pull his brother back up to his feet with Lucifer's arm draped around his shoulder to support him.  
  
The only person who just stood there like an absolute dweeb when Cas pushed past Sam to manhandle Lucifer out of the room, was Dean, speechless and unable to move.  
  
Sam felt the need to knock some actual sense into his brother - but there was something far more worrying on their hands here and there was no time to start an argument, so he trailed behind Castiel like a lost puppy.  
  
"Did I do anything wrong?" Sam questioned, pulling Lucifer's other arm over his shoulder to assist him. "Is it because of me that he's--"  
  
"No, absolutely not, Sam. You shouldn't start blaming yourself. This isn't a bad thing at all," Castiel replied, groaning as Lucifer howled like a wolf at the ceiling and put half of his weight onto the seraph as he leaned into his side. "He looks like he lost his senses, but this is not something that he can control."  
  
They walked through and out of the entrance of the bunker's corridor, and Sam sprinted across the main area to pull a chair out near the map table. It probably would've been far easier if they owned something where Lucifer could lie on, but there must've been a reason for why Castiel brought him out of the bedroom in the first place.  
  
Pushing Lucifer onto the chair, Castiel bent down in front of him and cupped his cheeks as Dean and Sam stepped back.  
  
"Brother, you need to fight this."  
  
"Paenitet me..."  
  
Sam felt a tsunami of emotions rush him down as he distinguished the first tear out of a dozen to come rolling down Lucifer's cheek once he murmured two words in latin that neither of the Winchesters could apprehend.  
  
"Tibi ignosco, fratrem."  
  
"Non!" Lucifer shouted in protest, a humming noise of his grace buzzing through the atmosphere that made Sam and Dean clasp their ears closed with their palms. "Paenitet me, paenitet me, paenitet me - et ego diligam eum!"  
  
Castiel looked completely abashed for a second or two, and Sam wanted to step into the conversation and try to collect the answers to his questions - but it didn't seem to be the right time to start a full questionnaire.  
  
"You've killed and sinned, brought the entire world in danger and even brawled your closest kin." Castiel sighed, staring straight into Lucifer's illuminated blue eyes. "But you would never lie, hurt or trick the one thing you care most about in this defective universe."  
  
Lucifer reacted to the seraph's words and gripped tight at Castiel's arms, fingers tightly clipped into the fabric of his trench coat.  
  
"Ego diligam eum."  
  
This time, the words were a mere whisper, so weak but authentic, lighter than a pile of feathers that the wind could just pick them up and blow them off, spoken as if he was genuinely regretful.  
  
"Is that a solemn vow?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Once Lucifer had calmed down, the first thing Sam wanted to do was walk over there and envelop his archangel into his pair of arms and never let go again. Instead, he just took slow steps forwards in a cautious and insecure manner.  
  
"Sam, you have absolutely nothing to fear." Castiel said, "Lucifer is completely numb and shut down. His brain is becoming reacquainted with his first memories, and his grace is only keeping a part of his subconscious mind awake. He just won't remember any of this once the process is completed. The only thing he will remember is everything before Amara damaged the cage, which was his time in the cage where he mourned his loss for a century, awaiting your return."  
  
The angel backed off when Sam was close enough to reach out and make some sort of physical contact. Lucifer just stared right through him, as if he was blind, and the view make Sam nauseous for a second.  
  
"Lucifer...?"  
  
There were fingers curled around his wrist, deliberately pulling him closer and Sam gasped in surprise when the archangel's cheek felt cold against his palm. Though it instantly warmed once Sam caressed a thumb over the skin comfortingly and Lucifer's eyes closed as he leaned into the touch, purring discreetly.  
  
"Ego amo te."  
  
Those were one of the many words that Sam was familiar with in Latin, and he smiled, warmth unfurling in the pit of his stomach.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
"This isn't the monster that was ready to rip and twist your soul, Sam." Castiel reminded him with a hand on his shoulder. "This is my brother would do more than burn an entire empire down just to have you back."  
  


* * *

  
It was calm in the bunker and everyone was less worried than they were before, especially Sam who had been using all of his precious time focusing on reading a list of documents about greek mythological creatures - it was mostly just a suggestion from Castiel, telling him to put his mind to rest and let all of his previous thoughts escape. After all, being constantly put under stress wasn't healthy either.  
  
All he knew was that Lucifer was sleeping in his own room, completely at peace, all safe and sound. Castiel was checking up on him every quarter of the hour to make sure that he was doing okay.  
  
The rest of the evening, Dean just went out, finding lame excuses to break out of his boredom and just find a way to have fun at a club. And honestly, Sam didn't really mind.  
  
After two hours of burying his nose into neverending engrossing documents, languid footsteps echoed from somewhere which Sam reckoned was Castiel for a moment until a honeyed but dull voice resounded inside of the room.  
  
"Sam...?"  
  
Once he heard his name being called from nearby, Sam whipped his head around as if he'd heard something absolutely abhorrent - but what he saw, was anything but abhorrent.  
  
Sam nearly knocked his chair over as he stood, but he couldn't care less at that exact moment, because someone had stolen his attention and he was completely frozen stiff on his spot.  
  
Lucifer stood in the doorframe of the corridor's outlet, brilliant blue eyes absorbing the environment for a second before they landed on Sam's figure and his breathing hitched audibly. His mouth fell ajar, and Sam didn't have the audacity to pull out a joke such as 'close your mouth or you'll catch flies' but instead, he just took one single step in the archangel's direction, feeling the temperature drop the closer he got into Lucifer's space.  
  
It wasn't the kind of cold that made him quiver like an idiot running around naked in the middle of the Winter - it was the kind of cold that felt like a zylphir - a hand brushing over his skin which forced a smile upon his lips.  
  
The archangel prowled around Sam to observe him better, to see if it was really him. There was an evenly measured distance between them though and those blue eyes skimming over his features felt like needles pricking into his skin.  
  
There was seemingly no space for words to be exchanged, and Sam wanted to change that, but as soon as he tried, Lucifer was standing right in front of him, so close he could partially feel warm breath ghosting across his lips and he completely froze.  
  
"Sam."  
  
Lucifer drawled his name but with reverence, lifting one of his hands to brush the human's cheek with the back of his fingers, eliciting a soft breath.  
  
"Can I-"  
  
In a swift move, Sam was pulled against the archangel's chest, wings fully wrapped around him and all the air escaped the surprised human's lungs.  
  
For the countless years that he had spent in the cage with Lucifer, Sam had learned that it was a sign of protection and affection. And for that, he became absolutely fond of dwelling inside of Lucifer's wings.  
  
"I've missed you."  
  
Sam's smile expired and he sighed, feeling cool fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt and tracing up over his stomach, leaving goosebumps behind.  
  
"Yeah, I missed you too." Sam whispered and screwed his eyes shut when Lucifer lightly pinched his skin experimentally. "Do you remember anything?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Of course. Sam figured that he would say something like that...  
  
"Like... from... the battle between your Father and the darkness?" Sam stepped back but didn't entirely retreat from the satisfying heat that embraced him, and Lucifer seemed entirely focused on provoking reactions out of him with deliberate touches. "You possessed your brother and -"  
  
"Sam!"  
  
Lucifer instinctively pushed the human behind him and extended his wings to shield him from anything that came close. Though when he caught Castiel standing in the doorframe of the kitchen, his guards dropped and his eyes softened.  
  
"Don't attempt to throw new hints when he's just woken up . He needs time." Cas explained in a stern tone as he approached his brother, and before Lucifer could make a comment, there were fingers pressed into his forehead and his breath hitched in his throat, eyes beginning to glow a bright blue light like the headlights of a car. "I should've told you this sooner, but we can't force all of this new information on him at once. The brain is a sensitive part of one's body and we could damage his even more than it already is."  
  
"Then what do you want me to do?" Sam questioned, pushing one of Lucifer radiant velvet wings out of his view so he could see.  
  
"Half of his memories have been successfully put back in place, which if you remember, means that he will remember everything from since the day he was created to the last second when Amara was released and her arrival damaged the cage." Castiel told him, squinting his eyes. "He'll probably be confused about where he is at the moment and question you about what happened and how he got here, but I want you to distract him for a while. Do not answer any of his questions until he's completely appeased. He needs to be calm and collected before you do this."  
  
"Okay." Sam said and nodded enthusiastically. "I can do that."  
  
Castiel just gave a curt nod in return and removed his fingers from Lucifer's forehead, watching as his eyes turned back to normal and he blinked thrice, completely dumbfounded.  
  
"How are you feeling, brother?" Castiel questioned sincerely, tilting his head a bit. "You seem mildly uncomfortable. Are you alright?"  
  
There was merely silence growing between them for a small amount of time and Sam feared that a question which they were trying to neglect for now was on it's way. But instead, Lucifer just replied, "I'm... fine."  
  
Sam sighed in relief but quickly cleared his throat and put a hand on Lucifer's arm to remind him that he was still here. "Maybe you should rest a little more, hm?"  
  
"Rest?" Lucifer whipped around. He looked like a child that didn't want to go to bed. "I'm not tired."  
  
"But you will be once I join you, right?" Sam suggested, a smile stretching wide across his lips that succeeded to wipe the look of protest from Lucifer's face.  
  
"Yes," the archangel murmured heartwarmingly, his face falling into arrant interest and bliss, "I would like that."  
  
"But first, I think you're gonna have to take a... long shower." Sam said, his face scrunching up to which Castiel stepped back and scratched the back of his head. "You reek like an unhygienic caveman."


	7. Chapter 7

Sam had never taken the time to envision this; a very nude Lucifer standing in the shower, staring up at the shower head in confusion and waiting for it to do something. Not because it was strange - well, okay, perhaps a little. But the idea of the Devil taking a shower just seemed laughable and unrealistic, and he'd never thought that they would end up here somehow.  
  
The primary idea was for Sam to teach the archangel how a shower functioned so that he could hopefully get the hang of it and start washing his own body with the bottles of products that he had given to Lucifer along with a vivid explanation about the differences between shampoo, conditioner and soap.  
  
Though that took an unexpected turn, because not a minute later, Sam had removed his shirt and pulled his own pants down to join Lucifer in the shower to assist him.  
  
Just this one time couldn't hurt...  
  
He started off as hesitant, deliberately drizzling some shampoo on his palm before gently beginning to rub through Lucifer's already soaked blond hair and receiving soft gasps and moans for it in return.  
  
The water sprayed over the still healing wounds on Lucifer's arms, drops surfing over the feathers and cleaning the burns that still remained there while Sam proceeded to wash his body next, big hands kneading the archangel's skin carefully.  
  
"This feels great."  
  
Sam felt laughter bubbling up inside of him and released a small chuckle, "Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it."  
  
"I don't remember where these injuries came from, though." Lucifer said and lowered his head under the water that doused him as he let his eyes trail over one of his cuts, "All I remember is - _Ouch!_ "  
  
The only option that Sam had left in his book to escape the troubling question was to 'accidentally' pluck a feather out of Lucifer's wings to make him stop talking, so he did.  
  
"Oh, so sorry, uhm... I was just getting to your wings." Sam cleared his throat, mentally facepalming to himself at how strangely fake his apologetic tone sounded. "I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"It's fine, it wasn't that bad." Lucifer reassured him with a small sigh and leaned forwards to place his hands on the tiled walls. "But I'd like you to continue, if you don't mind. Just... don't stop."  
  
"Don't stop he says," Sam mumbled in amusement and continued his previous movements, digging his palms into Lucifer back muscles and cleansing his skin. "You really are afraid that I'm going to run away again, aren't you?"  
  
Lucifer lightly shivered at those words.  
  
Sam didn't notice.  
  


* * *

  
It felt strange to finally being able to touch Lucifer again.  
  
In the cage they used to be huddled up together in a corner. Here, they were lying down in Sam's bed, one of Lucifer's wings comfortably draped over Sam's naked figure to serve him perpetual heat like a fireplace.  
  
The clock was ticking in the background, the clock-hand going by so fast that none of the two noticed the time. But it's not like they cared.  
  
Even if the view of the archangel peacefully nuzzling in Sam's shoulder with closed eyes and a pleased smile displaying onto his lips put Sam somewhat at ease, a part of him was still extremely impatient but he was good at hiding that. He needed to give Lucifer a little bit more time.  
  
Fingers were aimlessly dancing over Sam's skin, wandering like an army of ants over his arms up and down repetitively. Those movements alone unfurled a new sensation in the pit of Sam's stomach. The devil tracing every inch of his naked body with tenderness, a sense of solace waving over both of them. It truly felt like a piece of him had suddenly been restored to life and he felt... complete.  
  
There were feelings that Lucifer and Sam couldn't really share with any of their closest relatives even if they wanted to, because it simply didn't feel right. No one in the entire universe could understand how exactly it felt like to be empty from the inside, as if they were immune to merriness, as if all of their emotions had departed excluding sorrow and regret.  
  
Except the Devil and his vessel. Two individuals who had suffered for no particular reason. And whenever they connected, there was always room for discussion, but those didn't happen. Because they already knew what was on the other's mind without saying a word about it either way and it was better to leave it like that as brooding ruined their moment together.  
  
They just wanted eternal peace, and they found that aspect in each other.  
  
"I missed your touch," Lucifer murmured into Sam's skin after a while of quietude and tangled their nude legs together. "I almost forgot what that felt like."  
  
Sam took a deep breath, looking at the antique clock that hung near the door before he replied earnestly, his heart weighting down in his chest as he spoke, "I missed all of it, too."  
  
The feeling was mutual, Sam wasn't going to lie. There was no shame in admitting that he had craved to feel Lucifer's touch, that he had longed for the familiar intimacy again that they shared in the cage.  
  
Lucifer gently writhed near him and tried to put himself into a more comfortable position by pulling one leg over Sam's waist and an arm over his chest, a low content noise leaping from him when Sam decided to play with the back of his damp and disheveled hair.  
  
"Must've felt great being able to taste freedom again after centuries of being trapped down below in that cage with me..."  
  
"No," Sam inhaled for a second, his teeth grazing over his bottom lip, "No, I - it was horrible, actually."  
  
Lucifer allowed his eyes to lazily flutter open but didn't dare to speak up. There were words on Sam's tongue ready to be expelled, and he was mildly curious.  
  
"When I left the cage, not only did I feel elated and free, but I also felt... remorseful. Depressed. For leaving you there." Sam said and made a gesture with one of his hands while Lucifer followed them with his eyes. "I was stuck in a dilemma where I was forbidden to choose as my brother did in my place and decided that saving and patching me up was the right path to take. And once I got my soul back, everything just... changed. Realizations hit me in the face and I was constantly at war with myself."  
  
Sam felt the Devil's blue eyes fall back on him, and he sluggishly rolled his head over the pillow to look at Lucifer with a weak smile.  
  
"There were these nights where I was ready to send a few prayers your way, you know."  
  
"I never caught any of them," Lucifer furrowed his eyebrows in an apologetic way. "They must've been carried away from my reach somehow."  
  
"No, they didn't. I never prayed, because I never knew how to properly start with the thousand words mingled inside my head. I didn't know where to even begin." he sighed and shook his head. "One moment, I'd feel blessed for finally being released from that awful place downstairs. Other times, I'd feel like absolute... horse shit. And I'd attempt to come up with a way to return to the worst location in the universe just to be with you again, because that's where I naturally belong."  
  
Lucifer whirred at those words in gratisfaction and snuggled closer if that was even possible, the desire to drown himself into all of Sam's delicious warmth.  
  
There was only the sound of them breathing between themselves before Sam asked a question which stung his insides, his voice a little wonky. "How was it for you?"  
  
"I felt lethargic and lonesome, even if Michael and Adam were still present." Lucifer said, his response half-muted as he brushed his lips over Sam's neck. "It felt empty and different without you nonetheless. I just sat there, waiting for you to return."  
  
A sharp inhale, and Sam's vitals began to prickle at the mental image of the archangel kneeling in the cage in utter despair, yelling after Sam's name. It wasn't a very pleasant thought to say the least.  
  
"Even if I was taught patience throughout centuries of punishment and seclusion, the second you left I couldn't bear with the ache it left in my heart, like a piece had been ripped from my existence and I couldn't heal myself." Lucifer murmured, pressing a kiss to Sam's neck before shutting his eyes. "That was the worst torture yet."  
  
"I'm sorry-"  
  
"Don't be." he said, huffing in a show of amusement. "Apologizing is a waste of time, especially when you have done nothing wrong. This wasn't your fault, Sam."  
  
"But I was the one who got you back in there, and also the one who abandoned you afterwards." Sam said, voice quaking around the words.  
  
"Even if I lost against you back in that cemetery, I still respected you for the decisions you took. We were both fighting from different sides. You're human, Sam - I expected you to fear me in the very beginning. I could see it in your eyes, how genuinely frightened you were." Lucifer mused, knowing every detail as if it only had happened yesterday. "You had every right to be, and I cannot blame you for thinking the worst of me. I am known as the Devil after all. The monster."  
  
Sam shook his head, his nails lightly digging into Lucifer's scalp as his grip onto his hair tightened. "You're not a monster," he whispered, voice so low the sound was barely audible. "You're _not_ evil."  
  
"Then what am I?" Lucifer continued and stroked a hand down the human's arm in solace. "I am flawed, damaged after years of residing in that cage. I was born a warrior, was taught to fight for the great or good just like you, Sam. But would you look at how that changed over the years? My revenge gone-wrong, so to speak, has done me no good. I am -"  
  
His sentence was cut off when Sam completely rolled onto his side and closed the space between them to close the archangel's mouth with his own, letting the words he least wanted to hear muffle against his lips. There was a desperate noise ringing in the back of Lucifer's throat, the sudden action causing his fingers to splay out on Sam's naked chest.  
  
He didn't intend to push the human away. The thumping of Sam's living heart against his palm made him loosen his stress and sink back into the warmth of Sam's lips, eyes keeping track on the focused expression on Sam's face as he tried a different angle to kiss the archangel in.  
  
Sam retracted after ten seconds and gave both him and Lucifer the air between them to breathe.  
  
"You are still that warrior." he said softly as if it was an unbreakable promise, cupping one of Lucifer's cheeks with his hands as he regulated his breathing and his thumb brushed the stubble. "You've suffered for centuries and survived. And maybe you're damaged from the interior as well as the exterior, but so am I. So is _everyone_. But _you_?"  
  
He felt laughter bubbling up inside of him.  
  
"Lucifer, you have been maltreated, victimized, ripped apart in thousands of ways, your wounds don't even come close to a scratch. You lost some heavy battles, but you won the most worthy ones and worked through the consequences like a hero. You still haven't lost your value, and it shows how truly _brave_ are."  
  
Lucifer left his thumb to trail over Sam's bottom lip experimentally, blue eyes curiously following the action. It was such a soothing deed that put Sam on a sedated temper and he closed his eyes, fingertips brushing over his jaw, making his muscles feeble under the touch.  
  
"I've never been told that." the archangel admitted, voice at a minimum volume as if he had partially lost the ability to speak. "It's certainly refreshing."  
  
"That was the point. More so for you to see the truth." Sam smiled and caught Lucifer's hand in his own before bringing it down to place it on his heart. "And lying is past me. It would never cross my mind to be mendacious."  
  
"Your eyes are the most earnest part about anyone.  I don't even have to look at them to be able to tell if you are lying or not. I will always trust you no matter what, but I shall not tolerate you feeling inferior to anyone else whilst you praise me on." Lucifer said. "Sam Winchester, you are not tainted. You may be imperfect from the outside, but I can see your soul and it is flawless. Enthralling, truly."  
  
Sam's eyesbrows furrowed. He had the urge to object and counter his words with his own thoughts like he was unconvinced, but nothing dared to come out of his mouth.  
  
"You said lying is past you. Lying is past myself." Lucifer promised and grabbed hold of Sam's jaw, thumb and index finger pressed firmly into his true vessel's young flesh.  
  
"You're right," Sam agreed with a curt nod before leaning into the touch. "Lying is past us both."  
  
As nice as this conversation truly was, there always came an end to everything agreeable. And as they promised that lying did not fit in their abnormal relationship, Sam added a fundamental rule to his book which was to finally tell Lucifer to truth.  
  
"The darkness broke free."  
  
As the first four words that left his lips, there was no immediate reaction. But the more he waited, Lucifer's face began to crumble into perplexity. And through his eyes, Sam could see a million questions already beginning to whirl around in that complicated (but still damaged) mind of Lucifer's.  
  
"Dean and I released her, but not on purpose. I was getting these visions - signs that God wanted me to go down and find you. So I went to visit you by the cage, asking for your assistance..." Sam breathed out. "Turned out it was you who sent me the visions."  
  
"Sam, what are you-"  
  
"Just listen." he cut through Lucifer's question like a sharp knife. "When I went down there, you were different. I expected your usual, warm, inviting look. But you were predatory, seemingly bathed in darkness and you took me in the cage without my consent."  
  
A look of distress and shock flicked over the archangel's face, and Lucifer moved himself into a sitting position instead of lying down on the bed.  
  
Sam just mimicked his movement, but less abruptly.  
  
"I let it go at first, because I trust you with every sinew in my anatomy." Sam whispered. "But then you... discussed a threat against me and I felt petrified. Betrayed. You acted so unlike yourself that I wondered if I was hallucinating again for a second and... when I couldn't say yes, you..."  
  
A single shuddering breath.  
  
"... _hurt_ me."  
  
"I would never-!"  
  
"You coercing me into saying yes? That wasn't you. That was never you. I know that. But there was this sort of... anger in your eyes, the desire to grab me by the throat and punch all of the air out of my lungs."  
  
Lucifer's wings bowed in shame, his hands covering his face. Sam reached out to remove them, but the archangel refused to look at him. It was understandable.  
  
"Look at me."  
  
" _No_."  
  
"Please, Lucifer." Sam did not plead. He certainly didn't.  
  
"How - how do I not remember any this?" The archangel slowly lifted his head.  
  
Sam wasn't really sure about continuing for a second, only because he didn't know if Lucifer was ready to consume another whole pack of information all at once even if he was pushing it so desperately and he was less appeased. But in the end, he just decided to pursue. "Because you fought the darkness again, Lucifer. You and your father, together."  
  
"That was eons ago!"  
  
"It happened again. You possessed Castiel and went ham on the world after you took me into the cage, and when the darkness captured you, we went seeking for you again. Your father descended and well... you both came to terms and fought her - you were there, you need to remember it."  
  
"But... I - I don't-"  
  
"I know I'm coming off with this rather... suddenly, and you're probably overwhelmed with confusion right now. But you need to trust me on this, Luce. Amara blasted you away during the fight which caused you brain damage and you got lost somewhere in Kansas. Your memories are still there, you just need to remember."  
  
Lucifer gulped down, toes curling into the sheets before he sat back on his heels. He began fiddling with his fingers.  
  
"I... how?" he asked, voice extremely vulnerable like a child who tried to avert getting scolded.  
  
"Just... relax. Deep breaths." Sam instructed, grasping Lucifer's hand. "Take it easy, and just try."  
  
For a moment, it was just them and nothing else. The sound of Lucifer inhaling and exhaling, taking in deep breaths and releasing them in tandem to Sam's coaxing words, pulling him through his stress. There were finger pads caressing back and forth over the archangel's jaw to reward him for doing so well, easing him.  
  
"How am I doing...?" Lucifer asked, continuing.  
  
"So well," Sam confirmed with a nod and a reassuring smile plastered over his face. "So very well."  
  
Before Lucifer could return the smile, a sharp gasp winded out of his mouth.  
  
Sam's jaw went stiff when the archangel suddenly began acting abnormally strange and grabbed a good chunk of his own hair and started pulling at it, clearly biting back a few cries.  
  
"Samuel!"  
  
His eyes began to lighten up again, and suddenly, the lights of the chandelier in Sam's bedroom were dangerously flickering on and off along with the lamp on his nightstand.  
  
"Lucifer?"  
  
"Adiuva me - Sam, voices, screaming - please, I can't stop it -" Lucifer tilted his head back and grunted, "I need help!"


	8. Chapter 8

There were layer upon layers of blankets entirely covering the Devil's body who claimed to be cold, but his vessel was burning up whenever Sam or Castiel reached out to feel his forehead. Now, Lucifer wasn't in the worst state he'd ever been in, but it wasn't pleasant needless to say. He was in bed and engulfed in cold sweat whilst his head was throbbing. In his current weak condition, it felt like absolute torture.  
  
"So... did it work?" Sam questioned unbiddenly fast when Castiel removed his fingers from Lucifer's burning forehead and watched as the archangel groaned in aggravation to the discomfort.  
  
"His memories have been restored inside his mind." Castiel confirmed which earned him a sigh of relief. "Everything should be back to normal now, but we have to give him the time and space to recover. It's a requirement."  
  
" _Ow_ ," Lucifer winced which caught Sam and Castiel's attention who were perched at both edges of his bed. "Headache."  
  
"Hold in there, Lucifer. You've had worse." Sam told him with a simper. "Everything's fine."  
  
"Doesn't feel like it." the sick archangel replied stubbornly and began writhing under the pile of blankets crushing him to the mattress. If anything, it felt like breathing in the cooking air near the fervent sun whilst standing bare on top of the Mount Everest.  
  
To a human, the concept wouldn't make a ton of sense.  
  
Sam delicately ran his fingers through Lucifer's unkempt hair in a recomforting manner as that was the only thing he was capable of doing right now. Watching and touching. The latter provoked fine sounds from Lucifer, expressing his appreciation vocally and quite excessively as the feeling of Sam's touch felt delightfully soothing, allaying some of the exasperating throbbing in his head.  
  
Everyone was concerned, except Dean who loitered inside the doorframe of Sam's bedroom, arms folded over his chest with a look of dismay scribbled across his face. He was still against the idea of Lucifer after all he'd done to Sam those few months ago, and it would take a while to be completely inured to the Devil's presence inside of their bunker but he didn't count on it.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lucifer coughed and sniffled after a while of silence, and Sam wasn't really sure what he was apologizing for and who that was directed to. "For hurting you, Sam."  
  
Before Sam could open his mouth, his older brother took the opportunity to take in his place.  
  
"Like hell you are," Dean huffed angrily, notrils flaring and eyes squinting furiously as if he was trying his hardest to keep something extremely harsh back from being pulled out of his mouth. "You think a simple _sorry_ will fix things? That ain't gonna change anything."  
  
Three pair of bemused blinking eyes landed on Dean in a matter of seconds, only one of them wasn't surprised by the irated reaction and that was Lucifer.  
  
"I am truly sorry for what happened, Dean. It may not be something that you'd like to hear, but someone else might and that would be your brother." the archangel rasped. "And having him hear me beg for his forgiveness does matter to me, whether he accepts my apology or not. He is my essential soulmate and will be the sole one who I'll gladly kneel for in the sake of his forgiveness and affection."  
  
Dean's face twitched before he took a perfunctory glance at Sam, and then at the interlocked digits of his brother and the Devil idling on the edge of the mattress. There was something just extremely absurd about the view of it that made him want to vomit all over the floor, but he kept himself from mentioning it and just waved it off.  
  
"Sam will always give in and forgive your sorry ass. I know my brother better than you do."  
  
"So you think."  
  
"Quit worsening the situation," Castiel intervened and scowled in mild irritation. "It is not the time to quarrel about the past. This is a subject to be discussed between your brother and Lucifer, you aren't involved into this and neither am I. What happens is something that Sam will decide, and Sam only."  
  
A smug smirk appeared onto Lucifer's face and Dean glared daggers in his direction.  
  
"I'm still majorly against this."  
  
"That is none of our concern, Dean." Cas raised his voice a little.  
  
"Yeah, whatever..."  
  
When the entirety of the room was blessed with silence again, only then Sam decided to lean in and catch Lucifer lips in a passionate kiss to which Dean groaned in disgust and left the room, and Castiel removed himself from the edge of the bed to follow the hunter and give the two of them some time alone.  
  
When they drew back, Lucifer adopted a smile of felicity and pushed Sam's hair out of the way so he could see his eyes better. They held sparks that shone like metal under the sun.  
  
When the archangel opened his mouth to speak, Sam pushed a single finger against his rough shaped lips.  
  
"It's past us."  
  
Lucifer kissed the tip of his index finger in agreement and nodded, before Sam removed it.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I've been dwadling naked in the middle of the North Pole for about a day."  
  
When Sam guffawed at the mental image, Lucifer hummed happily and leaned up to capture his lips for another brief kiss.  
  
"Are the blankets helping?"  
  
"Barely," Lucifer shrugged, partly fully healed wings twitching a little as he moved to bury himself further under the covers. "But your presence is quite frankly very recomforting and making me forget about it."  
  
"I'm glad," Sam smiled, but not as long as he wished to. "Cas told me to give you some space to rest and respite, though."  
  
Lucifer began pouting petulantly, a look that Sam was able to wipe off by simply feeling his crinkled  forehead with the back of his hand to measure his temperature from cold to extremely hot. Obviously nothing had changed, but Lucifer was still his responsability for as long as he remained in bad shape.  
  
"I think now is the time to take that well-deserved rest," Sam announced and sighed reluctantly, watching beads of sweat promptly roll down Lucifer's face. "You're gonna have to recuperate all of your strength back."  
  
"I don't want you to leave."  
  
Sam removed himself from the edge of the bed and made sure that the archangel was covered from head to toe with the pile of blankets.  
  
"Me neither, but it's important. Your grace is still disabled and your mind needs repose. It's going to take a few days for you to puzzle yourself back together but you'll be fine, I'll make sure of that. Once you're fully recovered, I'll take the stitches out of your wings and-"  
  
He paused his movements when feeble fingers looped around his wrist.  
  
"Your lips are so beautiful when they speak," Lucifer managed to say through a prolonged yawn, fingertips stroking Sam's arm as he kept looking at every detail that composed the mortal's face with a lazy smile. "You should let them speak more often."  
  
"Yeah, definitely need that rest now." Sam agreed to himself silently and dipped into the mattress with his knee to lean down and plant one last tender kiss to Lucifer's cheek.  
  
Lucifer moaned peevishly at the thought of having to doze off another day but didn't make a comment and watched with weary eyes as the human toyed with the lamp on the nightstand. He left it on so that Lucifer could absorb some energy while he slept, and abandoned his phone next to it as well. Cas explained that it would give Lucifer some sort of assistance in regaining total control over his powers.  
  
When Sam took a step out of the door, he heard a soft call of his name across the room and he swiftly turned back.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Through the bit of orange light from the lamp placed on the nightstand that splayed over Lucifer's face, he could distinguish a grateful smile.   
  
"Thank you."  
  


* * *

  
It was an abnormally quiet week for the Winchesters, more like the vacation they never had but wish they took more often than not. They were mostly just occupying themselves with their usual activities in the bunker such as reading or watching old video tapes that were left at their disposal by the Men of Letters, and Dean taught himself how to properly cook and try out new recipes in the meantime while their next case was pending and Lucifer was busy convalenscing in Sam's bedroom.  
  
Castiel had been immensely helpful when it came to saving his brother and giving Sam all the advice on how to possibly come to Lucifer's aid as a human that lacked the ability to cure or check up on the sick archangel with remedial powers such as an angel.  
  
They gave him a place to stay inside the bunker as well as he had no fixed location in mind to go to next. Dean and Sam agreed that it was best to give the dude some peace and make it easier for him, he deserved it after all he'd gone through.  
  
It had been a period full of ups and downs for them but they were content with the final result of how everything ran, and they were also really excited about putting all of their usual focus and effort into their work again.  
  
Lucifer had passed out for three days instead of one, and the process of getting back on his feet was a success. Layers of blankets disappeared over the hours, and his vessel regained an optimal temperature that put his dizziness to a final stop and lowered the chance of feeling completely nauseated. He'd been more touch starved whenever Sam came to visit him with another bowl of fruit and liked to pull him down in the bed near him to stoke his skin with delicate fingers, take care of the human he was so fond of in return for everything he'd done.  
  
Everything was okay again, just like it was supposed to be.  
  
"How's Lucifer?"  
  
"He's doing excellent, but he's being stubborn as always," Castiel told Sam as he walked inside the main area with an empty glass which was previously filled with orange juice. "I told him to stay in bed and wait until he'd finally be able to use his pow-"  
  
Out of nowhere, a pair of largely luminous velvet wings stretched out in front of Sam's face and covered his figure entirely in a surprise. He was being pulled against a chest, and relaxed when he recognized the smell of freshly mown grass in his nostrils.  
  
Castiel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in downright innervation. " _Father help us_."  
  
"Warmth." Lucifer purred happily. "Missed that."  
  
"Weren't you supposed to stay in bed?" Sam razzed in a mother-like tone, and grinned when Lucifer rubbed his face against his shoulder and buried his head further into the back of his neck, his grip on his waist tightening.  
  
"Don't wanna," the archangel mumbled tiredly, "Been resting for three days already."  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Better than before," Lucifer removed his wings out of Sam's view and folded them neatly against his back, but didn't keep his hands to himself. "I can teleport again."  
  
"That much was obvious." Sam smirked when Dean passed inside the room with a plate of burgers in his hands, placing them in the middle of the table and complaining about burning his hands because of how hot they were. "What about your wings?"  
  
There was a gushed wind that blew past Sam's hair when Lucifer experimentally flapped them twice and then dropped them again.  
  
"They feel pleasantly new."  
  
"I think that means that it's time to finally remove those stitches then, huh?"   
  
When Lucifer withdrew from their embrace, Sam labyrinthed on his foot and smiled at the archangel. His blond hair was all spiky and pointing into different directions since he'd just come out of bed.  
  
"Will you go get the first aid kit out of the third storage room in the corridor?" Sam asked. "I need a pair of scissors and tweezers."  
  
"Of course."  
  
When Lucifer stretched his wings out to leave and retrieve the necessary tools, Sam quickly grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him in for a kiss, taking the opportunity to brush Lucifer's soft hair with his fingers and pet them back down.  
  
Lucifer hummed in approval and deepened the kiss for two seconds longer, and then vanished, leaving Sam with bruised and tingling lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked it? Hated it? Leave a comment and a rate, thanks for reading! <3


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